Give a man a fish...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he will go out and buy expensive fishing equipment, stupid looking clothes, a sports utility vehicle, travel 1000 miles to the "hottest" fishing spot, and stand waist deep in cold water just so he can outsmart a fish. (Average cost per fish: $395.68)

Source: The Good Clean Fun Archive

FREE PUPPIES! 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE REWARD.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 / HOUR.

Signs & Notices

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait"

Source: PBBT